what is a grown-up???
This question has been on my mind lately, for a couple of different reasons. For one, it was recently discussed on one of my favorite podcasts. And two, I’m getting more and more excited for my upcoming move, and am so sick of being asked when I’m going to “settle down.” How can anyone really know where they will be or for how long when we all know that life brings all sorts of unexpected opportunites to those who keep their eyes open?
So I’ve realized that I really think adulthood has more to do with the way you live and less to do with an actual age milestone. The following is a list (not all-inclusive) of things that earn points towards being a grown-up. It is important to point out that having one or maybe two of these things doesn’t automatically qualify you, but having several gives you many points and certainly makes a strong case for your adulthood.
1. you are married and/or have a mortgage
2. you have a nice-ish and/or new-ish car that you have bought yourself or have taken out a loan for in your own name and are making your own payments towards
3. you have a job in a field that you enjoy and you’ll continue in, and are not at the bottom of said field.
4. you have an actual bed frame, maybe even with a headboard
(fyi...if we’re keeping score I still have zero)
5. there is another living thing that you are directly responsible for (child, dog, etc.)
6. you like V-8-- the original flavor, not one of the various Splashes
7. you consistently read magazines that do not primarily contain fashion tips, athlete bios, or band pictures
8. you buy things for warmth and/or lounging that aren’t hoodies
9. you make and feed yourself actual meals, not just random foods at general meal times. for example...you make a chicken dish with a couple veggies as opposed to having a pb&j, a yogurt, and maybe some graham crackers or fruit snacks for dinner.
10. you think to yourself or actually tell someone that their music, television, etc is too loud
11. you have had the same address for more than two years. (I’ve lived 5 places in less than 3 years...although only two cities. most were new apts in different areas of los angeles. actually had 7 addresses though, b/c I was receiving mail at work for awhile and then they moved to a different site)
As far as this list goes, here’s how I’m doing: I have no points until #7. I’m pretty good with that one. My two print magazine subscriptions are literature/thought/culture based, and my most frequented online magazine site is science oriented. I get a point for #8 because I buy lots of non-hoodies, although I still do own a ridiculous amount of them (about a dozen). I’m getting better with #9 in the sense that I’m learning how to enjoy cooking certain things. That said, the last time I actually cooked anything was back in January. And I think I get a full point for #10. I occassionaly don't mind loud things, but usually I can’t stand it when the volume is too high.
Here’s another insighful marker someone on the podcast brought up...this guy said that he used to just assume that almost everyone he met was older than him, or at least his same age. Then at some point (around age 30, I believe), he suddently noticed he automatically assumed that everyone he met was younger than him. I think there really is some validity to judging adulthood by how old you assume everyone else to be. For the most part I definitely still assume the people I meet are older than me. It’s a bit disconcerting though when you realize that many bands, actors, athletes, etc are younger than you, and many times much younger. That’s sorta strange.
I don’t know exactly why I feel the need to define these sorts of things. Maybe it’s a validation thing. Just yesterday I was talking with someone about my move to New York City, and she said something like, “so you don’t have a plan for a job or for life or anything?” I don’t think she meant it this way, but it sorta made me out to be some sort of aimless, good-for-nothing wanderer. In truth, that’s not at all what I feel like, and I guess I’m having to come to grips with the fact that that’s how some people see it. While I may not have an outlined, point-by-point plan for anything, I feel so fulfilled in what I’m doing. At this stage of life my main focus is just to collect as many experiences as possible. I want to chase after art, ideas, relationships, and any experience I can get my hands on. I’m glad I have these years during and after college...I’m not responsible for anyone or to anyone, and I’m actively, in a first-person way, seeing what the world has to offer...litereally from coast to coast and across oceans.
I think people sometimes confuse not being a grown-up with being immature, and that’s not always fair. While I definitely don’t think I’m a full-fledged adult yet, I don’t think I’m immature in the childish sense of the word. Someday I really will be a tradtional adult. I just hope I’m not a boring one. Until then I guess I’ll just keep having a blast in this sometimes-scary-but-always-worth-it “twixter” stage of life. Come visit in NYC.
relief
I was recently told by a good friend that “26 is the new 21.” I don't even know where he heard it, but I was THRILLED to hear this. I’m a little freaked out about getting old. I’m not even 25 yet, but upon hearing this statement, what I can only descirbe as a wave of sweet relief washed over me...like the comfort that comes from a deep breath and the realization that it’s gonna be ok.
Since that initial conversation I’ve thought about it some more, and I really think it’s true ...26 really IS the new 21. In the past, I feel like people were expected to “have it together” by age 26. They’ve had a few years after college to piddle and get things in gear, and now it’s time to be a real grown-up. (fyi..I’ll be devoting a post in the very near future to answering the question of what exactly contitues a grown-up)
Now though, what used to be acceptable for 21 year-olds is acceptable for 26 year-olds. It’s ok to “not really know” about things. It’s a semi-new phenomenom called the “Twixters,” and you can find an interesting article about it from TIME magainze here:
http://tartedelune.livejournal.com/87608.html
I haven't taken the time to figure out how to hyperlink in blogger yet, so you'll have to copy and paste. And thanks Mandy for pointing me to this article about a year ago. It's a little lengthy, but worth the read. Most of it pretty much exactly pinpoints the situation, thoughts, and feelings of myself and lots of others I know.
stop robbing me!!
I'm so sick of thieves. Steal my heart, sure. But quit stealing my stuff.
This past Friday my wallet was lost/stolen (I wasn't sure which) at my day job. I guess someone had turned it in to security, because I got it back on Monday. However, $130 was gone. At least they left all my cards though...debit, credit, and even Starbucks gift. At the end of the day money is just money, but it's still a major bummer to be out 130 bones.
So fast forward to the next night. I arrive at my night job to find out that my shower stuff has been stolen. So annoying. It's not a huge fitness center by any stretch, and just has one shower. Not a ton of people use the gym anyway, and even less actually shower there. Most ladies just go do some treadmill walking or maybe biking on their lunch hour. Anyway, the night before I had accidentally left my shampoo, conditioner, bodywash, and facewash in the shower. I didn't think much of it, cause I'd be back the next day and didn't expect anyone to really be in there anyway. The weird thing is that they took my shampoo, conditioner, and bodywash, but they left my facewash. Could they seriously not have sprung for the $6 or $7 to buy their own shower products? I mean seriously, come on.
Yeah, I may be a bit at fault...I should perhaps keep an extra eye on all my stuff. But this is just ridiculous.
it's madness, baby!
Even though I won't be able too watch as much of it as I'd like, I'm super pumped for March Madness to begin tomorrow. Besides Christmas, it's the best time of the year.
For as long as I can remember, when someone would ask me who I thought was going to win I'd always respond with Illinois, without any hesitation. Usually the question-asker would just roll their eyes, but I was always genuinely hopeful. But for last couple of years everything changed. We were actually good. For a precious little while I could give my traditional answer without seeming crazy. Even though we didn't take it all, we certainly made a damn good run of things, with a second place finish that went down to the wire two years ago and a respectable performance last year. Plus, we put on a thrilling show by beating Arizona in what is arguably one of the best (and still talked about) comebacks of all time. Ah man, the glory days.
But this year we're ranked 12th. And suprisingly, I'm ok with that. I realized that now, when someone asks me who I think will win, I don't say Illinois. It was a little painful, but there's actually a little line on my bracket this year where I do not write them in as advancing. I don't think I'm losing faith in my team...I'm just growing up. There's still a little seed of hopefulness though. If you can't be one of the top (or middle) contenders, a 12th seed isn't the worst place to be. After all, there's always a 12-5 upset. And I'll of course still be cheering as hard as ever. I've got my Illinois sweatshirt washed and my orange and blue hair ribbon is all ready to go.
Somebody has to be the Cinderella. I just hope we can do it without The Chief. May he rest in peace.
trifecta
It's finally warm today. yay!!!
Soooo excited it's Friday. I picked up a second job this week, bringing my weekly working hours to 100. Don't have to be to work until 5 pm tomorrow though, so I can finally sleep!!
I can't wait for my nephew to get here towards the end of next month!!
a new adventure
It's funny what we'll do "on a whim." Around 9 o'clock last night the thought entered my head that perhaps I'd like to do a bit of traveling this May. I'd be moving anyway, and I've found that's the perfect time to travel and/or visit friends---you're between jobs so don't have to worry about vacation time or anything. I thought a bit about where I'd like to go, and quickly narrowed it down to Portland and Italy (Portland because I hear it's pretty and Italy because I took up learning Italian a couple of months ago). Fast forward about 12 hours later, and I've just booked a flight to Rome. I'll be in Italy May 22-30. Should be fun.
